Preferred Fitness Blog

Our goal is to offer the opportunity to the sharing of experiences and info related to HEALTH, FITNESS, PROMOS and upcoming EVENTS.

  1. Cupping Therapy: Benefits and Uses

    July 10, 2019 by

    Cupping therapy has been used for thousands of years, dating back at least to 1,550 B.C. Historically, it was used in ancient Chinese, Egyptian, and Middle Eastern Cultures. This form of alternative medicine can help patients deal with pain, circulation, inflammation, and relaxation.

    During a cupping therapy session, a therapist applies special cups to a patient’s skin in order to create a suction. These cups could be made out of bamboo, glass, earthenware, or silicone.

    Patients can choose between wet cupping and dry cupping. During either type of cupping, a therapist puts a flammable substance like alcohol or paper in a cup and lights it on fire. While the fire is extinguishing, the therapist places the cup upside down on the patient’s skin.

    The cup then turns into a vacuum as the air inside of it cools, causing one’s skin to become suctioned. This then causes blood vessels to expand as the cup is left on the skin for up to 3 minutes.

    Modern versions of cupping use a rubber pump rather than fire to create a vacuum effect. Also, modern therapists may use silicone cups that they can move around your body, providing you with a massage.

    During your first session of cupping, you may choose to just get one cup to see how you like it. Otherwise, you may get 3-5 cups, but rarely will a patient get more than 7 cups.

    During wet cupping, the therapist makes small cuts in the skin where the cup was after removing it and then reapplies the cup to the skin to draw out blood. After doing this, the therapist may apply an antibiotic cream and bandage so you do not get an infection. Your skin should return to its normal appearance after about a week and a half.

    People who practice cupping often believe that wet cupping eliminates toxins from the body and promotes healing, however, this has not been proven. While there has not been a lot of research on cupping, studies haves suggested that it is effective in treating acne, herpes zoster, and reducing pain. Cupping therapy may also increase the effectiveness of other therapies such as acupuncture.

    Cupping is fairly safe if you go to someone who is a professional. You may experience topical side effects such as bruising or redness on your skin. As always, check with your doctor before starting a cupping regimen. Make sure that there is nothing that you do or medicines that you take that could make cupping possibly harmful for your health.

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  2. The Benefits of Having a “Work Spouse”

    July 9, 2019 by

    If you are like most people, you probably spend most of your hours every week at the office. Because of this, you have most likely developed some strong bonds with your coworkers. And, there is one kind of relationship in particular that you may have acquired along with 50% of other people who have been surveyed: a work spouse.

    But what kind of relationship is this, and can having a work spouse help you achieve your goals? Let’s find out.

    What is a work spouse?

    This term typically refers to a coworker of the opposite sex who you consider to be trustworthy and who has your back and you feel close to. Similar to a real-life spouse, your work spouse always supports you but is also willing to play devil’s advocate with you. But aside from having a close relationship with this person, there’s typically nothing suggestive or romantic happening.

    The role of a work spouse

    Usually, a work spouse is someone you confide in about both work and personal matters. This person is the one you go to when you want to complain about your boss or you are looking for a confidant who is not a part of your personal, everyday life to give you an outside perspective on issues that you are facing.

    Your work spouse is your main ally and advisor at work, who you can laugh with throughout the day and share the everyday stressors of your job. You can be honest with this person, have politically incorrect conversations, and vent about fellow coworkers.

    You may think that a work spouse sounds awfully close to a real spouse, you are not exactly wrong in that. Just like a real spouse, your work spouse helps you, supports you, and roots for you.

    Having a work spouse is a good thing because it gives you a confidant at the office whom you trust that you can blow off some steam with. This outlet is an important part of maintaining a healthy mental state of mind at work and a work-life balance.

    Also, unlike your actual spouse, a work spouse is aware of the dynamics of your office and the things that you have to deal with every day. Talking to someone who is familiar with these things can help you process issues that you have in the workplace better. This can help you feel less inclined to bring work home with you (mentally) after hours. When you are able to leave work problems at work, it can benefit your relationships in real life because you can leave that burden behind.

    Plus, having the extra support at your office can help you excel at your job. Research shows that having friends in the office, and particularly a best friend, can help improve your performance.

    The downsides to having a work spouse

    Studies have also found that close office friendships can also have a negative impact on your productivity, and especially if your conversations with your work spouse become emotionally exhaustive. For example, if your work spouse complains about the same issue repeatedly, or speaks negatively about a colleague that you have a good relationship with–you could become mentally drained while talking to your work spouse to the point that the quality of your work declines.

    Also, your real-life spouse may feel insecure about your work spouse, especially if your spouse is one who likes to solve your problems.

    When you’re talking to your partner, it can be a good idea to refer to your work spouse in a different manner. Perhaps say ‘work wingman,’ which suggests the same type of relationship without touching on anything that could be considered to be romantic. Giving even a completely platonic friend a romantic-sounding name could pose problems for your relationship, so it may be best to avoid doing so. Be open with your spouse about your relationship with this person at work so they don’t feel as if you are hiding something.

    However, if things do heat up with your work spouse and you are single, you want to check with your company to see if there are any policies regarding employees dating each other. You don’t want to jeopardize your job. If your work spouse expresses interest in you and you do not feel the same way, be very honest with him or her and show compassion. You don’t want to lose this person as a friend and you don’t want to embarrass them when they will still be seeing you five days a week.

    So while there are some guidelines, having a work spouse and someone who supports you in your career can be a very healthy and normal thing.

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  3. Are you suffering from sleep apnea?

    July 8, 2019 by

    Do you find yourself to be tired during the day and you aren’t sure why? You may go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up after the sun rises, but you’re still lethargic.

    One possible cause for this is sleep apnea. Often, those who suffer from sleep apnea don’t know it and they only discover it when someone tells them that they snore. However, some symptoms include waking up with a sore throat, waking up with a gasping sensation, snoring, lack of energy during the day, headaches, forgetfulness, mood changes, and insomnia.

    You need to get adequate sleep for your body to be healthy. However, there are some things such as sleep apnea that can prevent you from having a full night’s sleep that can also lead to further health complications. While you may think that you are sleeping through the night, sleep apnea will prevent you from getting the deep, restorative sleep that you need.

    People suffering from sleep apnea stop breathing repeatedly while they are asleep, and sometimes this can happen hundreds of times in a night. This causes the brain and the rest of the body to be deprived of oxygen. This leads to snoring, which is a harsh sound that develops when one’s breathing is obstructed during sleep. Around 50% of people snore at some point in their lives. Men snore more than women and it usually runs in families, increasing in intensity with age. However, just because snoring is common does not mean it should be ignored because it could be a sign of sleep apnea.

    Sleep apnea occurs when a person experiences a partial or complete obstruction in their airway. This then leads to impaired breathing during sleep, which can make the quality of one’s sleep suffer. Snoring is often known as the first sign of sleep apnea.

    There are two main kinds of sleep apnea, obstructive sleep apnea and central sleep apnea. Obstructive sleep apnea is more common and it is caused by some sort of blockage in the airway. This is usually due to soft tissue collapsing in the back of one’s throat while they’re sleeping. Alternatively, central sleep apnea is not the result of a blocked airway, rather this is when the brain does not signal your muscles to breathe properly, due to an unreliability in one’s respiratory control center.

    Children and adults can both suffer from sleep apnea, however, it occurs in 65% of senior men and 56% of senior women, while it only affects 10-20% of children who snore. There are several root causes of sleep apnea, including diet, mechanical problems, and an existing disease.

    Unfortunately, only 20% of people with sleep apnea have a proper diagnosis and get treatment for this condition. Fatigue and the inability to concentrate are two of the many negative side effects of sleep apnea. These two side effects alone can increase one’s likelihood of being in a car accident.

    In fact, in 2017, tired drivers were behind the wheel during 91,000 police-reported car crashes, causing 50,000 injuries and almost 800 deaths.

    Some risk factors for sleep apnea include:

    • Being male
    • Large tonsils
    • Family history
    • Deviated septum, sinus issues, allergies, or other nasal obstructions
    • Overweight or obesity
    • Over the age of 40
    • Having a neck that is greater than 17 inches for men and greater than 16 inches for women

    A sleep apnea test can be performed on those who believe they suffer from this disorder. Once diagnosed, sleep apnea can be treated with lifestyle changes, including losing weight or changing the position in which one sleeps, sleeping with a CPAP therapy machine, or surgery. It is best for those suffering from sleep apnea to avoid drinking alcohol or taking sleeping pills, to change the position in which they sleep to encourage proper breathing, stop smoking, and avoid sleeping on their back.

    Sleep apnea can be treated, and it is never too early to return to healthy levels of rest. People often use natural treatments and lifestyle changes to help address or get rid of this disorder. If you feel tired during the day, it may be because you are suffering from sleep apnea.

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  4. Processed Foods and Mortality

    July 7, 2019 by

    The obesity epidemic in our country is going strong. An adult with a BMI of 30 or more is considered to be obese, and the number of people who fall into this category is continuing to climb. In the U.S., 39.6% of adults were overweight in 2016 and 13% were obese–which are the highest rates to date.

    Studies show that there are strong racial and ethnic disparities in obesity. The American Academy of Family Physicians has also found links between a higher prevalence of obesity in adults and demographic factors such as education, address, and income levels. The studies show that people who the highest education who live in urban areas, or those with incomes that are 400% or more than poverty level had lower rates of obesity.

    We have all heard that processed food is unhealthy and increases the risk of death and heart disease. However, are you sure that you know all of the foods that would fall into the category of being processed? Some might surprise you.

    Only four servings of ultra processed food can increase your risk of death. Food categories are classified by NOVA according to how much processing they go through and why they are being processed. As NOVA was classifying foods, they found an association between foods that are ultra processed and mortality from all causes. However, the chief cause of death was cancer at an average age of 58.

    Risk of Heart Disease Increases with Ultra Processed Foods

    Researchers have also collected data to evaluate participants’ normal eating habits and the impact it has on their health. In these studies, the researchers were looking at the outcome of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases and its relationship to eating ultra processed foods. The researchers found that one’s intake of ultra processed food is, in fact, associated with an increase risk of these diseases.

    Ultra processed make up over half of the food consumed in high-income countries like the USA, the United Kingdom and Canada. In Spain, the consumption of these ultra processed foods grew exponentially between 1990 and 2010.

    Weight Gain

    Eating ultra processed foods spikes your intake of calories, which causes weight gain. When eating a processed diet, people eat an average of 459 more calories each day than when eating a diet that does not include ultra processed foods. Eating ultra processed foods can also cause people to eat faster, which can lead to eating more.

    Researchers have come to believe that eating ultra processed foods leads to a delay in satiety signaling, which then increases one’s overall calorie intake.

    Cancer Linked to Ultra Processed Foods

    The American Cancer Society reported an estimated 14.1 million cases of cancer worldwide in 2012, which is estimated to grow by 50% to 21.6 million by 2030.
    Cells gain energy from breathing, and cancer cells metabolize differently than healthy cells. While smoking has been the number one cause for preventable cancer for years, obesity is now not too far behind, and may catch up as early as five years from now.

    Compared to people with a healthy weight, obese people are also at an increased risk of having a recurrence of their cancer, which also reduces their likelihood of survival. In fact, increased body weight has been linked to increased death rates for every type of cancer.

    Obesity also increases one’s risk of other health concerns and can put a huge strain on one’s finances. Obese adults spend an average of 42% more on direct care costs than those who are a healthy weight, and people who are morbidly obese pay 81% more than adults who are a healthy weight. Some additional medical and physical concerns that may come along with obesity include heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and gallstones.

    What are the ingredients in ultra processed foods?

    Ultra processed food and drinks contain synthetic ingredients that are made into industrial formulations, typically with at least five ingredients that may be used to duplicate sensory qualities or mask undesirable sensory qualities, including sugar, excess fats, oils, and preservatives.

    Some foods that are considered to be ultra processed include:
    Commercial breads
    Ice cream
    Instant soup
    Packaged macaroni and cheese
    Energy drinks and bars
    Fruit juice
    Baby formula
    Microwave meals

    Your diet is an important thing to keep in mind when you are considering your longevity. There is a severe health epidemic in the US, so it is important to pay attention to the fuel that you are giving your body on a regular basis. Try to make sure to eat foods that are just one ingredient and came from the earth such as fruits and vegetables.

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  5. Rooibos Tea Benefits

    July 6, 2019 by

    If you are new to drinking tea, the wide selection of teas can be quite overwhelming. While green tea is usually the “go-to” for healthy teas, there are other superior teas that are worth taking a look at. One of these is rooibos, a South African tea that is also known as red bush tea.

    Rooibos tea has just recently started to gain popularity outside of South Africa, however, it has been around since the early 1900s. This tea offers many health benefits that are now driving people to drink it worldwide. Let’s look at a few of these benefits.

    First, rooibos tea contains no caffeine, and is actually commonly used by people suffering from insomnia. It can help relax you after a long day and allow you to get to sleep faster and stay asleep longer. This calming and relaxing tea can help keep the levels of stress hormones in your body low. If you have a hard time falling asleep, simply drink a cup of rooibos tea at night to calm your mind and promote a sound, restful sleep.

    It is also a potent source of antioxidants that can protect your body from cancer. These antioxidants, including the polyphenols aspalathin and nothofagin, protect your cells from damage and oxidative stress. These particular polyphenols are actually pretty rare, as aspalathin is only found in rooibos tea and nothofagin is found solely in rooibos tea and New Zealand red beech. A diet rich in antioxidants is critical for proper health, as these compounds fight inflammation, protect your body against chronic disease, boost your immunity and metabolism, and help keep you looking your best. The powerful antioxidants in this tea give it its cancer protective properties, which has made this tea become known to be a leading source of natural cancer-fighting chemicals in South Africa.

    Rooibos tea also offers health benefits to your cardiovascular system. Rooibos tea contains a flavonoid called chrysoeriol, which benefits the cardiovascular system in many ways, including promoting proper blood flow, fighting inflammation, and stopping the activity of enzymes that could play a role in cardiovascular disease. Chrysoeriol may also help reduce unhealthy cholesterol and improve your blood pressure, which are two major components of having a healthy cardiovascular system.

    Rooibos tea also contains beneficial minerals that can help boost your health and wellness. It contains manganese and calcium, which are both beneficial for bone and teeth health. Rooibos also contains zinc, which promotes a healthy metabolism and iron, which is great for vascular health. Finally, Rooibos is a good source of magnesium, which is an important mineral to have to maintain a healthy nervous system. Magnesium is also known to help decrease the frequency and severity of headaches. If you think you are going to get a headache, simply drink some rooibos tea to help ease the pain or possibly prevent the headache from occurring at all.

    Finally, rooibos tea is good for soothing an upset stomach. Similar to ginger tea, this tea offers relief from painful gastrointestinal issues or nausea. It can calm your stomach because it contains quercetin, which is an anti-inflammatory chemical known for its long list of benefits, including relief of stomach pain. This tea can also help improve digestion and could help relieve diarrhea, reduce nausea, alleviate vomiting, and help manage symptoms of colitis. Many people who have children even turn to rooibos tea to help their child relieve the symptoms of colic or stomach cramps.

    There are different benefits to drinking different teas, but rooibos is a top contender for being among the healthiest teas to drink. Keep a pitcher of rooibos tea in your refrigerator to drink on the go or heat some up for your morning or nightly hot beverage. You can also take a nurturing rooibos tea bath or use it as a compress or facial steam in order to reap its’ topical benefits, which include alleviating itchy or inflamed skin. Its anti-inflammatory properties can help reduce acne, relieve sunburn, and reduce eczema. It will also help promote soft skin that is more vibrant and youthful and keep you healthy both inside and out. So next time you are looking for a new tea to drink, keep rooibos in mind for its wide range of health benefits.

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  6. The Problem with Sugar

    July 5, 2019 by

    When you think of the word “addiction”, what comes to mind?

    Probably cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol, right?

    Well, what about sugar?

    Sugar is actually one of the most harmful and most addictive substances that people consume. Not only is it directly related to so many diseases, it is also extremely hard to avoid.

    The average person consumes almost 18 teaspoons of sugar every day, which is more than 5 teaspoons higher than what the U.S. Dietary Guidelines tells us to eat. About three quarters of packaged or processed foods that are sold in our grocery stores have added sugar in them, including everyday foods such as cereal, fruit juices, and snacks. Sugar is even present in packaged children’s food and baby formula, meaning children are getting addicted to it at a very young age.

    Avoiding sugar isn’t as easy as one may think. It isn’t just about not eating dessert, the dressing that you put on your healthy salad is likely loaded with sugar if you bought it at the store and pizza sauce is high in sugar as well. Sugar hides behind over 60 different names on food labels, which may be tricky to pick out if you don’t know what you are looking for. The most common names include sucrose, glucose, maltose. and high-fructose corn syrup.

    So why is sugar addictive? Eating sugar activates the reward center of your brain by releasing dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that controls feelings of pleasure. This means that eating sugar makes you feel good, so you want to eat it often to get that feeling back once it is lost. However, the more sugar you eat, the weaker your body’s dopamine signals become because your body gets used to the feeling. This means that you need to eat more sugar to achieve the level of pleasure that you were once able to get from just a little bit. This results in a sugar addiction–which is why manufacturers add so much sugar to their products. The more they add, the more you will buy.

    In fact, studies have found that sugar produces more symptoms than it is required to in order to legally be considered an addictive substance. It has the same effects on people as drugs, including craving, tolerance, bingeing, symptoms of withdrawal, and cross-dependence. In fact, other studies have shown that intermittent bingeing on sugar and abusing drugs are both able to increase one’s extracellular dopamine in the brain.

    There are many ways in which eating sugar can ruin your health, both in the short and long term. Eating too much sugar can quickly lead to weight gain and increase your risk for developing type 2 diabetes. It can also increase your risk of developing metabolic disease, heart disease, and high blood pressure. Consuming too much sugar may also cause an imbalance in your hormones–estrogen and testosterone–which can lead to acne, infertility, and an increased risk of developing uterine cancer.

    You do need to consume some sugar. You have to have a healthy level of glucose in your body in order for your brain to properly function and to maintain your metabolism. However, this is just a small amount. Women’s bodies only need 6 teaspoons of sugar each day and men only need 9 teaspoons in order to maintain the best brain and metabolic function. But remember, you can get this sugar from eating natural fruits, dairy, and vegetables.

    When you fill your body with processed foods that contain sugar, it is taking the place of eating whole, healthy foods that your body needs in order to function properly. You can turn back the damage that you may have caused your body by eating too much sugar by choosing a healthy diet and getting enough exercise. If you already have heart disease, diabetes, or another disease that was caused by eating excess amounts of sugar, talk to your doctor in order to develop a healthy diet and exercise plan. If you think you have a sugar addiction, the best thing to do is to stay away from sweets entirely. Simply don’t buy them.

    While it can be tough to pass up a warm cookie for dessert or a piece of cake at a party, once you replace these foods with more fruits and vegetables, you will notice the changes in your body and see how toxic sugar has been to your health.

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  7. The Art of Perfecting the Single-Leg Glute Bridge

    July 4, 2019 by

    Doing glute bridges is a great way to work out your backside, which is important for the overall strength of your body. Also, if you are looking to firm up your booty, doing this exercise is a must.

    However, doing just single-leg glute bridges could be even better for you than doing them with both legs. Using just one leg will not only help you isolate the glute muscles, it will also incorporate your other back muscles, making this move an intense one to add to your workout routine.

    But how do you do this exercise with just one leg?

    First, you lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet shoulder-width apart. Make sure your feet are about a foot away from your glutes. Lift your right leg straight up into the air with your foot flexed until it reaches hip height. While you’re keeping your upper back flat on the floor, tighten your glute muscles and raise your hips up off of the ground–high enough so that your body forms a straight line. Make sure that you are keeping your core muscles engaged while doing this exercise. Once your body is up and in a straight line, pause for a moment, squeezing your glutes for a few seconds. Return to your starting position to complete one rep. Once you have done all of your reps, repeat the exercise with the other leg.

    To get the best results, do sets of 15 or 20 reps if you are not adding any weight. If you are adding weight, do about 12 reps. Make sure that you rest for at least 30 seconds between each set in order to let your body recover.

    When it comes to your form, make sure that you extend your hips fully when you reach the top of your movement. Also, when you push yourself up, use the muscles in your heels and hips rather than those from your legs. Also, remember that the engagement of your muscles along with the pause at the top of your movement are a critical part of fully engaging your muscles.

    Doing single-leg bridges has several benefits to your physical health. Similar to when you do a standard glute bridge, the single-leg type targets all of your glute muscles, which includes the maximus, medius, and minimus. However, lifting one leg makes your hamstrings and lower back do work as well, which makes this move more intense than when you do it with both legs.

    Doing this exercise will build both functionality and aesthetics. This is a great exercise for those who have to work behind a desk all day or who are otherwise sedentary. It helps to improve your hip mobility and your lower back strength, which counters the negative impacts of sitting at a desk.

    Doing these single-leg glute bridges are difficult to do without any weight, but once you get the hang of it and build more strength in these muscles, you can start to add some weight, like a dumbbell or a barbell across your hips, to increase the intensity of the exercise.

    Start doing these exercises a few times a week without adding weights at first. As you begin to master this movement and build up your strength, you can start adding some weight, but do it slowly. Decrease the frequency of doing this exercise to just once each week to slowly build your glutes, while also allowing them to have the necessary time to recover. Just like with other exercises, doing this at a healthy pace will help you avoid becoming injured or too sore.

    There are other variations of this exercise that you can do as well. You can do an elevated single-leg glute bridge by doing this same movement but with one foot on the floor and one foot lifted up on a bench, or you could do a banded single-leg glute bridge, which will add resistance to your thighs. You can also do this exercise on a bench by placing your upper back on a bench with one foot on the ground and the other extended at the height of your hips. Then, lower your hips and press up with your feel and squeeze your glute muscles. Return to your starting position and repeat.

    However you decide to do this move, you will definitely start to feel the effects of it on your glutes.

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  8. Work Out Smarter, Not Harder

    July 3, 2019 by

    How often do you mix it up when it comes to your workout regimen? Monthly? Every six months? Ever?

    Making small changes to your lifting routine is important so you are making sure to target all of your muscles, no matter how small they might be.

    If you don’t change around your exercise schedule, you may end up with performance plateaus, muscle imbalances, slow (if any) gains, and injuries from overworking one part of your body–and there is nothing more frustrating than putting forth significant effort to exercise and never seeing any results.

    Some people do complete workout makeovers every few months in order to avoid these possible dangers. They either change all of their exercises to new ones or they change up their workout models, like going from high intensity interval training to weightlifting. However, you could also take a much simpler and more effective approach by making smaller changes in your current workout, such as switching up your grip on some exercises.

    Weightlifting is most commonly done overhand when doing a pullup or a deadlift, and underhand when doing a chin-up or curls. Some other possible grips include alternated (where one hand is overhand and the other is underhand) or a neutral grip, where both palms are facing each other, such as when you are doing a hammer curl.

    While you may not think it is too important, your grip when weightlifting really matters. In fact, even slight variations in the position of your grip while you’re lifting weights can alter the muscles you’re targeting. For example, when you are doing curls with dumbbells, using a typical underhand grip will work out your biceps, however, if you rotate your hands just a bit in order to have a neutral grip, the strain will shift to a different part of your elbow, and if you rotate your hands 90 degrees to an overhand grip, you’ll target a completely different part of your elbow. So while your grip might seem like a very minor thing when it comes to your weightlifting, it can actually make a huge difference in your results.

    In order to avoid a plateau or an injury, switch up your grip every once in a while. Especially change your grip for exercises that seem too easy or you haven’t noticed any significant improvement for a month or more. For example, if your chin-ups are exactly where they were 6 weeks ago, switch your grip to a pullup, which will relieve the work of your biceps, but force your back muscles to put forth some effort. Or, if you are still lifting the same amount of weight in your biceps curl, change it up for a hammer curl, which will target the main flexor in your elbow. If your regular overhand grip doesn’t work well for you anymore when you are doing a barbell row, reverse your grip, which will immediately increase your load and trigger new muscles to gain strength. However, you want to make sure to always be smart with your heavy loaded movements like your presses, because doing these without proper form can quickly lead to an injury.

    When you’re weightlifting, very small changes can produce larger results than you may think. Just make sure that you are still lifting your weights in a proper form, no matter which angle your grip is in. You don’t want to put yourself as risk of injury, but you can try to figure out a healthy way to target muscles that you may not even know are being neglected by changing your grip.

    Remember, don’t worry if you can’t lift as much weight or do as many reps with an exercise when you change your grip. You are exercising new muscles, so it will take a while to catch up to the muscles that are used to your lifting regime. Don’t try to do too much too quickly, it can easily result in injury, leaving you unable to lift weights at all. Take it slow and make sure that whatever you are doing feels right for your body.

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  9. How to Get to Know Someone Better

    June 11, 2019 by

    It is always great when you can meet someone and you immediately click with them. It’s like you have been friends forever.

    But there are also times when you meet people and it takes a little more work to get to know them. And while you may never end up being great friends with this person, they might be someone that you have to interact with on a regular basis, such as a coworker or a new in-law.

    So how do you get them to open up to you?

    When getting to know someone, you usually ask impersonal but important questions, such as where they’re from, what they do, if they have children, etc.

    However, if you really want to get to know more about someone than just the basics, you have to dig deeper. You have to hit on some topics that dig into the other person’s thoughts and passions in order to strengthen and increase your bond with them. Sharing personal information will allow you to gain a deeper relationship if you are able to ask questions that focus on personal self-disclosure.

    An important part of this is to ask follow up questions whenever the other person tells you something about themselves. Say they took a trip to Greece last year, ask them what they liked the most about it or ask them to describe their favorite meal. What brought them to Greece in the first place? Where else might they like to travel? These types of follow up questions help the other person reveal more about themselves.

    Here are some good things to ask someone you have just met that go beyond small talk.


    Because people spend so much time at work, you can get to know someone by asking them about their job. Start a conversation that leaves you knowing how the other person feels about their profession. Some questions you may ask include:

    • What are some things that you find rewarding in the work that you do?
    • What are some of the challenges that you face?
    • What are you the most proud of at work?
    • Do you plan to stay in your current career forever?
    • What is your dream job?
    • Are you fulfilled in your job? Why or why not?
    • Does your job align with your college major?
    • Did you always know that this is what you wanted to do?
    • Tell me about the worst job you have ever had.
    • Do you see your coworkers outside of work?
    • What does your typical day look like?
    • Are there any things at work that annoy you?

    Another great way to get to know someone is to ask questions about their family or other close relationships. Some examples are:

    • Where did you grow up?
    • How often do you get to see your family?
    • What are some family traditions that you still follow?
    • What has been your favorite family vacation?
    • What is your best childhood memory?
    • How many siblings do you have and are you close with them?
    • Do you still have your childhood house?
    • What is the best piece of advice you have gotten from a family member?
    • If you have children, do you raise them like your parents raised you?
    • What did your parents do for a living when you were growing up?

    A quick way to get to know someone is to ask them about their values. This will help you learn about their life philosophy and motivators. Consider some of these questions:

  10. How would you define success?
  11. What is a deal breaker for you in a relationship?
  12. Are you religious?
  13. What do you do that makes you feel accomplished?
  14. What do you look for in a friend?
  15. Do you have a personal motto?
  16. What motivates you?
  17. Do you give people second chances?
  18. How do people earn your trust?
  19. What do you respect the most about your best friend?

    Asking questions such as these that go beyond the normal factual questions about where someone works or lives can help you to quickly get to know someone and have them get to know you in return.

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  • Signs You Are in a Non-Commital Relationship

    June 10, 2019 by

    Non-committal relationships are common, and have now been coined by the term “situationship.”

    This type of relationship is one that has not been defined. Maybe you have had a few dates, but you haven’t yet had the conversation regarding where the relationship is going. So why put a label on a relationship that literally has no label?

    With online relationships being such a common thing, people have so many options and it is difficult to commit to one person when it is so easy to access a sea of people who want to be in a relationship.

    Sometimes, being in a situationship allows you to have the time to get to know somebody without being rushed to get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. The problem is, often one partner starts to have feelings for the other when you’re in any kind of intimate relationship.

    Once these emotions start to build, being in a situationship is no longer ideal for someone. One person starts to feel rejected because the other doesn’t fully want them. But how do you know if you are in this position?

    Here’s how to tell if you’re on the road to getting your feelings crushed by the person who you want to be your main squeeze.

    1. Your plans are always last-minute.

    People in strong relationships make plans far in advance, but when you are in a situationship, you tend to operate on a more day-to-day timeline. You aren’t invited to meet the family and you don’t assume you will see each other every weekend. If you only meet up at the last minute, it means that you are not the other person’s priority.

    2. There’s no consistency.

    One thing that people really love about being in relationships is that they can depend on seeing and talking to their partner on a regular basis. When you are in a situationship, that isn’t really the case. Just because the person asks to hang out with you twice in one week doesn’t guarantee they will see you at all the following week.

    3. You hear the same excuse a lot.

    You probably hear the other person say that they are really busy at work or they have a lot going on when you ask them if they want to go out. If you’re in a situationship, these kinds of things are excuses. However, if you are in a relationship, these excuses will lead to a plan B, such as: “Let’s go out after I finish this big work project” or “Let me call you after I get a few things off of my to-do list.”

    This is because people in a relationship make time for each other, no matter what else they have going on. There is no need to problem solve to see your partner in a situationship because they are not your priority.

    4. You don’t talk about a future together.

    Conversations in situationships don’t involve much past the present moment. You are not in the relationship for the long term, so there is no need to discuss future career goals or where you may want to live in a few years.

    If you haven’t talked about the future or the things you’re looking for, you’re probably in a situationship, meaning you are just sharing current activities and hanging out without heading in a major direction.

    5. They tell or show you that they don’t want to get serious.

    The other person may be quite frank with you and tell you that they don’t want to be in a serious relationship. They may also show you this through their actions, such as if they’re not calling you on a regular basis or not showing you in any way that you are a priority in their life.

    So what are you supposed to do if you want to take your situationship to the next level?

    You need to be honest with the other person (and with yourself) and let them know that you want something more than just a relationship out of convenience. Be up front with the person and tell them that you care about them and you want to be in an exclusive relationship. If those feelings are not reciprocated, then it is best for you to move on anyway.

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