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Some Fights are Healthy for Couples

January 8, 2018 by

Everyone has that friend who claims that they never, ever fight with their partner. While this seems ideal, it is likely not true. Every couple argues, which is a natural and normal process to go through. The difference comes in when you factor in how a couple chooses to argue and how they resolve their disagreements.

It is always important to remember in a fight that it is a good idea to communicate more than you probably think you should. When you think you are getting frustrated, say something right away to prevent an argument from happening. Address your concern as soon as it comes up so your partner will know what is bothering you and then the two of you can work together to come up with a solution. This will help prevent you from getting on the defense to try to protect yourself from being angered even further. After this, you can stop and listen to your partner’s response to help you explore your feelings.

To help you get through the normal disagreements, here is a list of fights that are the most likely to come up in any relationship and what you should do to handle them when they arise.


While he may have his eye on a new smartphone, you could be looking into new investment options. Or maybe he wants to buy a brand new car that has all of the most updated features and you just want something that will get you from point A to point B. Having different financial priorities is totally normal, but it is important to communicate about money so you don’t become resentful.

Make an effort to understand why your partner wants to spend or save money like they do. Sometimes it is best to validate their point of view and come up with a compromise. Also, help your partner understand your point of view so you can be on the same page.


Everyone has their own way of doing things, from loading the dishwasher to running the laundry. These differences can drive another person crazy. The important thing here is to pick your battles. Think about the long-term effects of your partner taking out the trash in a different way than you might choose to do so. Is it really a big deal? If something is really important to you then explain it to your partner. Otherwise, let it go.

Sex Drives

Sex isn’t usually a problem in the beginning of a relationship, but after the honeymoon stage is over, usually one person is left wanting more than the other. It is important to find a balance with your partner so you are both satisfied and neither one of you feels resentful. Make sure to acknowledge your partner’s desire when you aren’t feeling it and make it up to them when the timing is better for you both.

Social Schedules

A lot of couples have different ideas of how much time they want to spend together. This is best to address early on in a relationship so it doesn’t lead to resentment. Let your partner know how the amount of time you are spending together is affecting your level of connection. Make sure that you are supporting your partner’s goals and lifestyle but also let them know that you don’t want to lose your connection with them. Communicate with each other about how you can stay connected while still living your own lives.

Cleaning the House

One person’s idea of clean is another’s idea of a disaster. If your ideas of cleanliness are different, it can lead to an argument. In this case, make sure that you do not blame or shame your partner for their preferences. Don’t tell them that they are a bad person for leaving their shoes and socks on the floor, instead, help them understand how their organizational habits have an effect on you. This will prevent your partner from being embarrassed or angry.

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