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How Long Does It Take To Mend a Broken Heart?

September 10, 2019 by

If you have ever been through a breakup where you felt like you would never be able to move on, you have probably asked yourself, “how long does it take to get over an ex?”

Being in the dark about how long you have to endure those horrible, hurtful feelings that come after your heart gets broken is painstakingly difficult.

Some have suggested that it takes half the time of the duration of the relationship to get over the person, while others say it can be done in a few weeks if you will yourself to only grieve for that set amount of time.

However, there is no one answer to this question. But–this means the power is in your hands to determine how long it will take you to get over an ex. Here are 6 things to keep in mind when you’re trying to get over your ex.

1. It could take either days or years to get over an ex.

This all depends on how serious your relationship was. Were you casually dating for a few months or were you married for several years? There are a lot of things that factor into this. Which leads to…

2. The more attached you were, the longer it will take.

How emotionally attached were you to your ex when you were together? If you were deeply emotionally attached to this person, you won’t be equipped to handle the loss right away. Your increased feelings of attachment may leave you devastated, lower your self-esteem, and have you longing for your ex for a significant amount of time.

Also, when you get really attached to your partner, your relationship becomes a big part of your identity, so once the relationship is over, you may feel like you have lost a part of yourself. This is not an easy thing to get over in a short period of time.

However, if you’re used to adapting to change and letting things go, it will be easier for you to move on with your life and create new relationships.

3. Engage in self-care to speed things up.

Keep in mind that everyone will bounce back from heartbreak differently, so you can’t judge your progress based on someone else’s experience. You simply need to focus on doing the things that make you feel good and surround yourself with the positive people in your life that help you see hope for the future. Spend your time with those who support you through this hardship and are willing to listen when you want to talk and are also ready to take your mind off of your ex by going out and having a good time with you.

4. Spark some change in your life.

Changing something about your life (your appearance, the layout of your living room, getting a new car…) can help speed the process along as well. Do something to reinvent your identity without your ex so you can start a new chapter without their influence.

5. Keep yourself busy.

Boredom can be the ultimate setback for you. Especially if you find yourself bored on social media and get tempted to see what your ex has been up to or who they’re talking to. Boredom will also cause you to relive happy moments with your ex and allow yourself to have time to miss them.

Stay as busy as possible, whether this means adopting a new workout habit, getting out there and meeting new people, or finding a new hobby. Do whatever you can to keep your mind busy and don’t give yourself the opportunity to reminisce on your former life.

6. Go at your own pace.

Getting over someone is not something that you can rush, nor should you. You don’t have to pretend to be over your ex the day after you break up, and just because your friend moved on from her last relationship rather quickly, doesn’t mean that you have to do the same thing. Move at a pace that is comfortable for you so you can completely heal from the heartbreak before moving onto your next relationship. Jumping into something before you’re ready isn’t fair to you or the other person.

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